LOL. I’m always stressed. At all times. I’m a full-time college student. I am involved heavily on campus. I am an officer in my sorority. I am a deacon. I work almost 30 hours a week. I got a lot going on.
I want to be a super woman. I want to be the person that can do it all. And I can be. I can handle everything on my plate and still volunteer for more. But should I?
Truly, I shouldn’t. And I know this. But I do it anyway. Catch me out here on Sunday morning volunteering to lead youth Bible study or go visit someone in the hospital or pick up someone’s Children’s Church shift.
Or catch me at a sorority meeting. “Oh, yeah, girl. I am a PowerPoint whiz. I’ll make that for you.” “I’ll text her for you; we need to be intentional with our sisters.” “Bruh, I’m gunna plan two philanthropy events this semester, because I’m capable and the philanthropy always needs money.”
Catch me at school or work. I’m always asking how I can be helpful. What do YOU need to succeed? How can I help you reach your goal? If there’s a student leadership opportunity, watch me apply for it knowing I don’t get enough sleep as it is.
My mom told me last week that I needed to learn how to say no. It’s not that I need to learn to say no to others; I need to learn how to say no to myself. People aren’t piling things onto my plate; I do that myself. And I’m really good at it. (Shout out to Thanksgiving meals for the practice.) But should I be doing this?
Cause I’m too stressed to feel blessed. I know I’m blessed, but I don’t always feel that way. One of my least favorite questions that Daniel Johnson, my youth minister, used to ALWAYS ask on any youth trip was “Where did you see God today?” I never had a real answer; I just made it up off the cuff. To this day, I dread this question. Where did I see God today? Homie, I haven’t looked in a mirror in three days because I simply don’t have time. At what point in my day am I gunna look for God?
Looking for God
The truth is the way I live my life is not conducive to looking for God. However, that doesn’t mean I don’t still see God in my day. Most of the time I just don’t recognize it.
In Exodus, God literally had to turn Moses’s staff into a snake for Moses to believe that God was there with him (Exodus 4:1-5). Honestly, that makes me feel a little better. God chose this man to lead the Israelites to freedom, and even Moses didn’t always see God.
Using this example, I have chosen to ask the Lord to show up in big ways sometimes and to open my eyes all the time. I need to see the Lord. I need to be reminded of Jesus’s never-ending compassion, love, and adoration for me. I got the whole Lord on my side – The Lord of the universe. The Lord that created all things believes in me. I am #blessed. I am Biblically blessed. I am truly blessed. Yes, I’m stressed, but I can never reach a point in my life that I am too stressed to be blessed. It’s simply not up to me.